Cousin Eddie

Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon's Christmas Vaccation.

"That's a Honey of a Tree, Clark"


Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

" Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so."

"She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know. "

Clark: [Finally revealing his Christmas Bonus] It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club.
Eddie: [Overwhelmed, almost choking on his eggnog] Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.